The bottom line is that women who have body massage sex with men are not having enough orgasms. So what is stopping them? First of all, it is important to know that body massage is not the end goal for everyone who has body massage sex, and that is fine. Some people get into sex with body massage, some get into sex with men, and some people are not that interested in sex. You get something different from the body massage sex experience, and that’s great. But for some people, having sex while having a body massage is important. Why is sex with body massage with heterosexual women not catching up with lesbians? Well, there are a few problems.
The male body massage is considered the main event
Look at the end of almost everybody’s massage sex scene (porn, movie, erotica). Most heterosexual sex scenes that involve a body massage end with the male orgasm. This is presented as the big conclusion, the main event. But what if the woman isn’t ready yet? Often, once the woman orgasms first, she is expected to continue the body massage sex, whether penetration or fellatio, until the man is done. But what if the man comes first? Some good men are interested in female orgasms, either by pleasing them with their mouths or by using vibrators or whatever it takes to climax. But most of the time, they think that body massage sex ends with orgasm. And that’s a real problem. When it comes to lesbian sex with body massage, it doesn’t end with just a body massage. If both of you orgasm, it may take longer for one of you to die. It’s hard to believe, and a bit exhausting. But everyone climaxes.
Too much emphasis on the act of sex
When we talk about “body massage sex,” it often just means penis-vagina body massage sex. Male body massage is considered a big climax, but penis penetration sex with vagina body massage is considered a real body massage sex act. Fingering, oral sex, sex toys — even words like “flirting” and “fuck around” imply that these acts are silly compared to real sex. Fuck real sex.
It’s only been a year or so, how can real sex be like this? We haven’t spent enough time on other types of sex, the type of sex that heterosexual women need to orgasm. But for lesbians, oral sex, fingering, and sex toys are often the basis of sex. Is it any wonder they ejaculate more? Most women get the clitoral stimulation they need to climax. But with all these options available to heterosexual women, what stops them from getting what they need?
Women don’t feel empowered to ask for what they want or need.
I raised my hand and said I just pretended to enjoy body massage sex which wasn’t great because I didn’t want to make a fuss. It’s not something to be proud of. Women have been raised not to ask for what they need, lest they be seen as a “nuisance” or a “burden.” I hate to admit that I succumbed to this socialization, but I have. We are naturally taught that the pleasure of body massage sex is not as important to us as it is to men. Some women believe that body massage sex is something they endure for their partner, not for their pleasure. However, even if you know your preferences and are enthusiastic about body massage sex, as a woman, you may feel that protecting your partner’s self-esteem and feelings is more important than anything else.
