When it comes to spicing up your affairs and sex life, threesomes are one of the most common options. Threesomes are a very common fantasy and are usually very easy to organize. And of course, threesomes are a great way to broaden your horizons, spice up your sex life, and play together as a couple, but only if things go well. The truth is, threesomes can be very awkward sometimes. You might find yourself with too many links, no feelings, or just one person left out. I love a good threesome, but sometimes they’re just… no good.
So if a threesome went a little wrong for you, or just felt unnatural and disappointing, you’re not alone. If the threesome is happily single, it’s usually pretty easy to move on to the next step, but if you’re having affairs, things can get a lot more complicated. You might be able to get over it and have a lot of success with threesomes in the future, but you need to face it head-on instead of trying to sweep it under the proverbial rug (a threesome can’t fit under the rug anyway).
So how do you get your affairs relationship back on track after a threesome goes wrong? Here’s where you should start:
Talk right away
If either of you felt even the slightest bit uncomfortable about the threesome, or if something wasn’t fun at all, the worst thing you can do is make it worse. Don’t ignore it, pretend you liked it, or ignore the fact that your partner’s attitude has changed since then. Instead, jump right in and say something was wrong. Talk about what you didn’t like about the threesome, if it made you feel left out if it made you anxious, or if it just wasn’t fun. Talk to a third party if necessary. Maybe it’s just you or your partner that feels weird, but if the other person feels that way, they have the right to talk about it too.
Consider the underlying issue
Once you’ve identified what went wrong, you need to consider why. Did it become awkward because one of you paid more attention than the other? Did one of you not listen to the other’s non-verbal cues? Threesomes should be fun and casual, but still be a team effort. If at any point you two had disagreements, it’s important to be clear about where, why, and how the breakup occurred.
Put things in perspective
Every couple’s relationship with their affair and their affair sex life is a little different. Some people have an experimental affairs sex life, some are strong no matter what, and for others, their extramarital sex life is very fragile or just an extension of their affair. If something feels wrong with threesomes, is it because there’s a bigger problem? Maybe you’ve felt insecure during a threesome because you didn’t have enough support in your career or life in general. Maybe your partner feels like their needs have always come second and threesomes are just an extension of that. Maybe a threesome felt asymmetrical because communication was completely stalled. If you feel like you’re having major issues with your affairs, it’s time to address them head-on. You might be surprised at how much your sex life has improved since the affair.
Decide What to Do Next
If your threesome was a bit lackluster, you might be stuck figuring out what to do next. Try again. Are you working on getting your sex life back on track? Trying something completely different? It might help to think about why you attempted a threesome in the first place. The most important thing is that no matter how you try to change things from here, stick to what you both feel comfortable with. If either of you feel like you need more variety, there are other ways to make it happen. If you both want to try affairs sex with other people and are comfortable giving it another try, have another threesome. Maybe you want to change up the type of people you’re with — perhaps a stranger or a friend this time. Or maybe you want to set clear ground rules from the start.
