I finally got a vibrator! Yes, that’s right. I used to masturbate with my bare hands like a caveman, but now we’ve finally arrived in the 21st century and automated the process. We no longer rub our clothes with our hands or make our butter, and similarly, we no longer play our vulvas like stringed instruments.
Of course, I’m not just celebrating the fact that it now takes less energy to masturbate every morning. By owning something that exists solely for my pleasure, I affirm the importance of female sex toy pleasure and solo pleasure as a whole. And more importantly, it feels so good. For me, it’s a way to connect with this body that others have tried to control and regulate. Women are often encouraged to masturbate to teach their partners what they like and don’t like, but that still doesn’t explain why. We’ve been taught that female sex toys come with strings, that they can only be enjoyed in a monogamous relationship, that they exist primarily for men, and that you can get “too much. Not surprisingly, it’s a habit we often try to hide.
In a recent survey by the American Sex and Men Society, respondents expressed a desire not to let their partners see or know that they were using their toys. Another woman reported that her partner felt embarrassed or ashamed — as if her presence was an indication that the relationship wasn’t going well.
Then he found it and immediately asked me to get rid of it because it was “bigger” than him. That’s crazy, right? Oscar Wilde said, “Everything is about sex, except sex toys. And when you reserve that emotion for your partner’s toys, you give that power to someone else.
Also, I’m very proud of the toys I own, so I would be upset if my partner expected me to compromise on them. After all, just because I watched a movie alone doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy it with the person I’m dating. It’s not a competition. But some men… And since so many of us follow a romantic pattern in which our partners must cater to our every need, it’s not surprising that vibrators are a threat in this regard. The intimacy we build with other human beings can’t be replaced by a vibrator. But if the primary purpose of sex toys, apart from pleasure, is to promote intimacy, what good does it do us by viewing masturbation as a betrayal? Why does everyone want me to be united with them, but never with my body? Because men are portrayed as these insatiable creatures, it’s natural, almost a necessity, that they masturbate – and they have sex toys in abundance. On the other hand, female sex toys are meant to be quieter and more limited. So using a vibrator becomes a greedy or perverted act. I was even told that using a vibrator would make my vulva lose sensation. That would mean my desire for sex toys is so unhealthy that I’m willing to hurt myself. And it’s all just one way of creating female sex toys. A female pleasure that’s more obscene than reality. Masturbation is not only healthy, it’s beautiful. My vibrator brings my sex toys to life through volume and infinity, and to hide it would be to a
